The Mayo Clinic states that "Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others". Communicating assertively helps you to feel more confident and demonstrates self-respect. It also allows you to better understand the views of others. After all, how will you truly understand the other perspective if you cannot first engage in the conversation by assertively stating your own?
In her Ted Talk, Celeste Headlee discusses how to have better conversations with others. One of the most insightful things that she shares is her advice to approach every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Coordinated management of meaning (CMM) communication theory asserts that we create our social reality by negotiating the meaning of the world around us through conversation. In order for us to learn and really make sense of the world around us, we have to be willing to state our truth and listen to the truth of others.
Speaking of negotiation, this is one arena in which assertive communication is essential. Negotiation is a part of everyday life. It is how we make sure that we meet our own needs. Many girls and women are very intimidated by the idea of having to negotiate. However,this is because we think of negotiation as adversarial rather than "nice". Margaret Neale, Professor of Management at the Stanford School of Business talks about negotiation as problem-solving. Assertively communicating our views allows for much needed solutions. Without those solutions, nobody wins!
When we approach life with a desire to learn and understand, it becomes richer. But to do that, we must start with honesty. We need to be true to our own beliefs, and express them openly, honestly and assertively. Make your voice heard. Build upon the work done by women before us who were brave and bold despite their fear and lack of power. Your real and confident self deserves to be heard.
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